Our entire persona is essentially made up of thoughts. All of them, in a lot of categories:
Physical: I am this body. This body is American. This body is male or female (or other). This body is tall/short. This body is handsome/ugly. This body is fat/skinny. This body is part of a tribe. My body's skin is too white, dark, blemished, scaly, dry, oily. My eyes are too big, small, dark, slanty, round, wrong color. My hair is too long, short, dirty, muddy, oily, dry, thin, thick, receding, tangled. My feet...my butt...my fingers... A million thoughts about our body and all its parts and features, any of which MAY be true, as far as the body and its components are concerned. But the first point is that we IDENTIFY with and as the body. You are NOT the body.
Mental: I am my mind. I am smart/stupid. I'm a fast/slow learner. I think too much. I don't think enough. My thoughts are so negative. My thoughts are wonderfully positive. I'm always right. I'm always wrong. I'm too impulsive. I'm too stubborn. I'm too selfish. I'm too giving. I'm too closed off. I'm too empathic. Of course, descriptions don't have to be "TOO" anything - they can just be an idea - good, bad, or indifferent because it all starts with the identification of being the mind! I am my thoughts. You are NOT your thoughts.
For the most part, people don't 'think,' they are thought through. There's lots of exercises to recognize this. For instance, simply try to STOP thinking for a length of time. Don't let even one thought appear! Chances are you can't do it. Thoughts just appear. Or how often have you seen a photo of someone and the thought just appeared, "They are SO stupid/ugly/fat/obnoxious etc etc" and then you think, "Why did I just think that thought?" followed by "I'm a horrible person for thinking like that." Or, you agree with the initial 'bad' thought, and continue the mental rant on how horrible this person is and how they should be wiped from the planet. Often, you may find a group of like-minded haters who all agree on certain person's or thing's horrendous status. But again, they all stem from the identification with the mind and its thoughts. I AM what I think. You are NOT!
Feelings: Same thing again. We say, "I'm sad," but in reality, we are aware of sadness. Sadness arises and we identify with it. Happiness, shame, guilt, sorrow, anxiety - all sensations which arise and we identify with them. It's as if you're wearing colored glasses and you identify everything you see as having a bluish, greenish, yellowish tint.
Stories: When you take all of our history of thoughts, experiences, feelings, throw them into consciousness and stir them all around, you come up with the Story of You! I was born in City, at this Time, and my parents were like THIS, and my childhood was like THAT, and ever since, I've been unable to Fulfill this desire, and everyone knows that I'm like THAT, and I'll never be happy because this part of my story says so. Or, your story is an incredible tale of success and achievement. And of course, there are hundreds of chapters and smaller stories which make up this big story of You. But you're not any of that in reality.
So, if you're NOT your body, and you're not your thoughts, and you're NOT your Story...what ARE you? You are the OBSERVER, or the SEER of your body and your thoughts, as well as perceptions, sensations, conceptions etc. You are NOT what you observe, but the one who sees, feel, hears those things. If you ask, who is seeing, hearing, feeling this? The answer is "I am!" That's it. Not I am THIS or THAT, or something or anything, just "I AM!" Although the wording is not exactly correct here, but FEEL that sense of I am-ness, of Being, of Presence, of Me-ness. This is both simple and difficult. Because for a flash, we get it - Oh, This Me-ness!" and then you want to begin to describe it. You immediately lose the Presence, for the description or excitement of it.
One thing that is very common, is the idea that I HAVE a soul or Self. One thinks, "I'm, me, here, and somewhere inside me I have a self. Untrue - you ARE the Self, and the rest is thoughts, ideas and stories.
You are Consciousness. And Consciousness is infinite. It is vast Presence and everything arises within that Consciousness, and so you identify with those things. Not all of them, but the ones that have more persistence - your body, your thoughts, your emotions, and the stories you create with those things. Even though your body completely changes every 7 years or so, and your thoughts change every second, still you identify with them fully. At least during the day!! Have you ever noticed that your dreams at night are like a whole different world? You may have a different body, different home, a whole different reality, and yet, for the most part, you completely identify with that dreamworldl and accept it as reality - until you wake up. And then you easily slip back into your "real" story of You during your dayworld.
So, you see, it's NOT the thoughts that are the problem; nor the feelings, emotions or stories. It's the IDENTIFICATION with all of them. They feel comfortable. You wear them like your favorite old clothes. But they're not YOU! You ARE the Conscousness Itself, the one who is SEEING all the stories, thoughts, ideas, feelings, perceptions, conceptions ad infinitum. To know who/what you truly are.....Let them all go. Don't worry - they probably won't go anywhere, but just put them down for a bit. Inquire into who that Consciousness is, what is that Presence....and Rest in That. Allow that Presence to be, to expand, to engulf the entire Reality. Stop...And...Be...Presence!
Deep love
Aja
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